Squidward's personal secretary - Draft transcript
Squidward's personal secretary Squidward: Ah, today is the day I get a day away from grease that usually always surrounds me! I wish I could go on vacation but I don't wanna risk leaving by home alone when two bumbling blowheads could easily wreck the havoc out of here. Secretary: Ah yes. For your service, I will be charging you $3 an hour to watch your house. Squidward Kinda cheap but okay. Secretary: What was that I hear? Squidward: Uh.. nothing. Nevermind. Squidward: Alright, good bye Bikini Bottom! takes the taxi and off he goes. Secretary: Now all I need to do is sit here and just wait. bored from outside SpongeBob: Pat, should we ask Squidward if we can borrow his house for an experiment? Patrick: Yea. Our houses won't work and they aren't big or tall enough. SpongeBob: Okay. on door politely German. Guten Morgan Spanish. señor Squidward. Secretary:: Hmm. ''to himself I guess it must be someone here for Squidward. Better tell them he's away. '''Secretary: door Hello there young square and star! Squidward is away now so I don't know if you should use his house for some shenanigans. SpongeBob: Do you like jellyfishing? Patrick: Or blowing bubbles? Secretary: Uh, never really tried that sport. SpongeBob: C'mon, it's fun. You'll like it. Secretary: Alright, what can I say? Let's get to it! and Patrick introduce the Secretary to the notorious Jellyfish Fields and he starts chasing jellyfish with them. Secretary: Ouch, that Jellyfish stung me! SpongeBob: Jellyfish sometimes sting people when they're scared or angry. Secretary: How on Earth am I supposed to catch a Jellyfish if I'm being stung all the time. SpongeBob: You'll get there, we are jellyfish expertise. Secretary: arm.' Yes! I caught one. This is a nice sport! SpongeBob & Patrick: Yea, we LOVE IT! Secretary: Yeah but I have to do some things for Squidward. I have to file away all his paperwork and file his tax returns. SpongeBob: Oh please, we want to show you bubble blowing first. Secretary: anxiously Make it quick! all go back to their backyards and SpongeBob introduces the Secretary to the Bubble blowing technique SpongeBob:' Okay, Secretary, it's all in the technique! ''starts doing his infamous routine. First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Then pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... blows bubbles shaped like ducks. Secretary: Woah! So, I guess first, I spin around. spins then stop. Double take three times, one, two, three. Then pelvic thrust, whoooo, whoooo, then I have to stop on my right foot, and I can't forget it. Bring it around town, bring-it-a-round-town, then I do this, and this, and this, and this, and that, and this and that, and then.... a huge Gorilla bubble larger than Squidward's house. SpongeBob: Yay, you did it! Secretary: Oh no, the bubble is heading straight for the house! pops at the house and completely dismantles it and Squidward's house is completely destroyed in ashes. Secretary: Oh clams! All the paperwork, tax returns, MONEY! driving back home, door opens and Squidward gets out with suitcases Squidward: his eye closed in a happy manner. I'm back! towards house and opens imagery door So how'd it go Secretary? Secretary: from outside Not very well you'd imagine. Squidward: eyes Oh my goodness! What happened HERE?! Secretary: It's a long story your master. Squidward: Then it's better be good then! You're lucky I have insurance or you'd be screwed. Secretary: Yeah, so.. the day starts off as normal. secretary explains, his voice fades and the scene as well as the episode ends.